Finding Your Circle: Friendship Tips for DINK Couples

As DINKS, it’s easy to feel like you’re living a life that doesn’t quite fit the mold of those around you, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. With a bit of intention, you can build a community that understands your choices, shares your values, and supports the life you’re creating together.

We've come up with three steps that you can take as a DINKS couple to help build a supportive, like‑minded community. A community of connection, learning, exploring, quality friendships, etc... Read on to discover more!

Step 1: Define the Community You Actually Want

Before you start “looking for friends,” let's get specific about the kind of connection you and your partner want. First let's start with asking yourselves these three simple questions.

1. Do we want more couple friends, or are we fine with individual friendships?

2. Do we want mostly DINKS couples, a mix of parents and non-parents, or people who just “get” us regardless?

3. Do we prefer small, deep connections, or a wide, casual circle with lots of activity?

You might decide you want:

• One or two other DINKS couples for hanging out and trips together.

• A few single friends who keep life interesting and spontaneous.

• A broader community (book club, sports club, volunteering) to feel rooted locally.

Once you define what type of community you both agree on, move on to Step 2 below. Btw, did you know that we have a DINKS Lifestyle notebook that you can use to write all this information in so you can refer to your answers at a later time and change them as you see fit. Please see the DINKS shop for more information!

Step 2: Where to Find Other DINKS-Friendly People

We all would like spaces where our DINKS lifestyle fits naturally and we know there is no DINKS Club where like-minded couples can connect and support each other, but we're working on creating one here (more details to follow so, please subscribe to our newsletter and be the first to know)!

In the meantime, below are some ways you can find other DINKS couples.

a. Interest-Based Groups

Join activities that tend to attract adults with flexible time. For example:

• Fitness classes – Like running or walking clubs, yoga, hiking groups, dance/ballroom classes, etc...

• Hobbies – Board game nights (we've seen these listed in our area on Meet-up), wine tastings, book clubs, photography groups, gardening groups, etc... whatever hobbies you're into I'm sure there's a group for it.

• Learning spaces – Language classes (these are very useful for overseas traveling to learn some basics before arriving at your destination), cooking courses, creative workshops, etc...

Try to look for recurring events (weekly or monthly), not one-offs. Repetition is what turns strangers into familiar faces!

b. Values-Based Communities

Connect around what you care about as a couple. Some ideas are:

• Volunteering – Local animal shelters, food banks, mentoring someone, community gardens.

• Cause-based groups – Environmental organizations, advocacy groups, etc...

• Faith or spiritual spaces – Churches, meditation groups, spiritual circles.

You’ll naturally meet people who think long-term, care about impact, and may be less focused on a traditional life script.

c. Online Spaces for DINKS

Use online platforms or apps as a bridge to real-life connection. For example:

• Join local Facebook groups or subreddits for your city, hobbies, or DINKS events.

• Online communities specifically for childfree or DINKS couples.

• Apps and platforms that organize local events (meetup-style).

Always treat online spaces as the first layer. The goal is to move toward real conversations and in-person meetups where possible. We're working on creating a new forum for DINKS Lifestyle where DINKS can post their local events, chat, etc...

d. Your Existing Network

You might already know potential DINKS-friendly friends.

• How about that colleague you always enjoy talking to but never see outside of work.

• The neighbor couple without kids who walks their dog at the same time as you.

• Old friends whose life path is similar to yours, even if you’ve drifted.

Just a simple, “We’ve been trying to be more intentional about making time for friends—want to grab a bite to eat next week?” can open a door.

Step 3: Turning Acquaintances Into Real Friends

Meeting people is one thing, but building actual friendships is another. Below are some tips to help build those quality friendships.

a. Be the Initiator (On purpose)

Many adults are lonely because everyone is waiting for someone else to make the first move. We've actually noticed this throughout our research as DINKS. Decide that you’ll be the couple who:

• Follows up after a good chat: “Hey, we really enjoyed talking—want to grab drinks next Thursday?”

• Sets the next step before leaving: “This was fun. Want to do a game night at our place in a couple weeks?”

• Suggest simple, low-pressure plans: going for coffee, walks, or even lunch.

You don’t have to overthink it—consistency matters more than creativity!

b. Create Easy, Repeatable Traditions

Traditions make friendships feel stable and less like another thing to schedule from scratch. Some ideas for some repeatable traditions could be:

• A monthly dinner club – Rotate hosting between couples, each night with a new theme.

• Friday night “no-kids” table – Regular drinks or dinner at the same spot.

• Sunday walk & coffee – Meet at a park, go for a hike, or meet at a local coffee shop.

These what they call “anchor events” give everyone something to look forward to and reduce planning friction.

c. Share Honestly (At the Right Pace)

Deeper friendships come from vulnerability. Over time, practice sharing things like:

• The realities of being a DINKS couple: the joys and the doubts.

• Experiences of judgment or pressure from family or society.

• Your dreams: travel plans, career goals, or your vision for the future.

You don’t have to overshare on day one, but letting people see the real you invites closeness.

With the above steps, building friendships as DINKs doesn’t have to feel awkward or forced—it just takes a little intention and consistency. Pick one idea, try it this week, and give it time to grow. As the saying goes people come into your life for a reason and stay for a season or a lifetime. We're hoping these steps can help you create those DINKS friendships that last a lifetime.

In Part 3 of this blog series we'll be discussing how to cope with loneliness and comparisons as a DINKS couple so stay tuned! If you'd like to be the first to be notified of upcoming blogs, please subscribe to our email list and we'll let you know as soon as it's hot off the press!